What follows below are our first "bump" photos.
Did I say "ours?" Oh yes, yes I did...
First is me, relaxed. Next is me sucking in. No really!
Steve's baby bump. (Lest you fear for his health, Steve is pushing it out for effect.)
Tika's baby bump.
There you have 'em, folks!
I walked into my internship yesterday morning and my supervisor exclaimed "you've popped!" Indeed, even though I posted about it a few weeks ago, it still felt like the genuine emergence of my "bump" happened overnight. A few weeks ago I could feel it and sorta see it but if I sucked my stomach in its presence was negotiable; now I can't not feel it and if I suck my stomach in, well, very little happens. (I will take and email photos soon; let me know if you'd like to be on that list.) It's not that it's huge; it's just that it's there.
While it's obvious to me what's going on, I'm starting to get the first onslaught of the "is she or isn't she?" stares. Well, that's not entirely accurate because the first onslaught has been by people who know I'm pregnant, so they're really "is it or isn't it showing?" stares. Women are used to being stared at for a variety of reasons, and I'm no exception, but I have to say the new locale for the stares is taking some adjustment. Women are also trained to be very, very sensitive to perceptions of our weight and if I were not pregnant and caught three or four people trying to discretely stare at my belly despite wide eyes and furrowed brows, I'd be mortified. That mortification impulse is still present with the pregnancy belly, like it or not, and has to be grappled with despite the fact that there's no reason to be even slightly embarrassed about one's belly size. (A note here that really -- really -- no one should be made to be embarrassed about their belly size, no matter its cause, by society or anyone, but let's face it, it happens pervasively.) Having a belly has called into high relief how much I do have that mortification impulse despite my beliefs that no one should have it; just another facet of day to day living of which pregnancy has made me hyper-aware.
What are the other things? How accustomed I'd grown to ignoring hunger and bathroom urges for the sake of convenience, for one. Training myself to eat when I'm hungry -- the moment I'm hungry -- and to use the facilities when I first have even the faintest awareness that I have to go -- has been just that, training. Then there's the infrequency with which I was paying attention to vegetables and protein amounts in my diet until now. There's the absolutely cerebral way I operated before pregnancy, rarely paying attention to the nuances of my physical existence like I do now. I have never before inhabited my body the way I so completely do now.
And lastly, there's the omnipresence of Easter candy in the world -- is Easter over yet? Please?
Of the many things I must deny myself - alcohol, caffeine, sugar - Steve promised me solidarity on just one: sushi. Tonight I put him to the test: we were going to celebrate his new job and ended up deciding on a Japanese restaurant. We sat there in an environment where we'd eaten sushi and instead ordered things we'd never bothered to before, and lo and behold it was good. It was a trial for Steve, I'm sure, in that unlike me it was the first time he had to deny himself something on behalf of this pregnancy, but to have his solidarity on this one silly thing made me so grateful. And I'm guessing this is just the beginning.
...because I do. If you know anything about me, then you know that this is a world-record feat deserving of parades and medals:
I have not bought a single box of girl scout cookies
AND
I have not bought a single piece of Easter candy (which has been out since JANUARY).
I usually eat so much of either this time of year that I 1) pass out from sugar shock and/or 2) develop numerous nasty canker sores. We're talking sugar binge extravaganza from February to April.
This year? Not. One. Piece.
That's how much this baby's health (and by extension my own) means to me.
...I just want to say that my student insurance plan covers pretty much NOTHING about maternity and it sucks. I'm even going to double check that labor is properly covered, because if they won't pay for barely any lab fees, I can only imagine how much they'd like to dodge that cost. And *all* insurance plans available for purchase by an individual in the state of Colorado treat pregnancy as a "pre-existing condition." It's unconscionable.
Alright, people, the bump is official. I can still pretty much button pants (thanks especially to the low-rise trend) but it's more of an effort. And while I've had extra padding on my belly for quite some time, now I can feel hard muscle wall behind it. We had our 16 week check up today and she said it's about 3 centimeters below my belly button, which is normal. I also gained 4 pounds, so my campaign to eat more and better is working. It's funny, The Book has me pegged: "You may be feeling some frustration because your normal clothes don't fit but you're still too small for maternity clothes." Yup, that about covers it (or doesn't).
The official presence of the bump happens to coincide with being on my third day of lower back pain. This is very normal in early pregnancy and there's no bleeding or cramping, so nothing to worry about. I finally realized that I'd had to drive instead of walk to classes this week and that meant I got no exercise. I've got two more finals to go (winter quarter ends next week!) and then I hope to build walking into my schedule much more regularly. I know Tika won't object. :) In the meantime I'm keeping an eye on my posture, sleeping on my side with a pillow between my knees, and taking tylenol when necessary.